I’ve absolutely had it with this bathroom. Not only is it approximately the size of a postage stamp, it’s very badly designed – essentially, once you’ve entered the room, it’s really hard to close the door behind you without standing either in the shower or crammed beside the toilet. Getting out again is another story.

Granted, this bathroom was fitted a very long time ago, presumably by a previous homeowner who had a limited understanding of practical design principles. I’m sure they did the best they could to renovate, given the size of the room, but I’m sure I could do better. And when I say I, I mean the expert bathroom designers and builders I’m going to recruit to do the job right.

I sliding or folding door would be a good start, at least one that opens out of the bathroom rather than into it. Next on the list is the incorporation of a more effective fan system for funneling the shower steam somewhere other than into the ceiling. Some cabinets that are designed for actual humans, as opposed to dolls, wouldn’t go astray.

Finally, something I’ve dreamed of for a while: a bathtub in the base of the shower. It’ll be an oddly shaped tub, for sure – it might need to be a custom solution. But I’m convinced that it’s possible with the right advice from design professionals. Maybe I should talk to the company that did my kitchen design and installation. Melbourne probably has loads of people that would be up to the task, but I was happy with the work on the kitchen, so why sift through everyone else?

I remember being quite frustrated with the kitchen, too, before I had it made over. It looked to me as though it still had its original worktops and shelves from 100 years ago. I might be exaggerating, but really – they were comically miniscule, not to mention coming apart at the seams. You should see it now, though – it’s amazing what a team of pros can do with a place.