To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand my new short story anthology. The humour is extremely subtle, and anyone without a grasp of gestalt psychology will find that the jokes go right over their heads. Of course, that very accurately describes this bunch, who wouldn’t understand my flawless collection if it danced in front of them wearing the special edition book jacket of one of those terrible vampire romance novels. Ugh.

So I had to explain every single little detail to them, right down to the concept of how commercial LED lighting is woven into the tales. See, the binding concept of all the stories, set as they are in their own separate universes, is that it’s all about our callous usage of energy. Take the dystopian tale ‘For Want of a 10000-Volt Battery’, wherein the Earth has been ravaged by a lack of proper etiquette when using technology in public, causing people to become cold, isolated and rude to each other, perpetually jealous that someone else has been using the energy that should have been theirs. Or perhaps my more optimistic but slightly sinister chronicle, ‘A Walk in Neon Yellow’, wherein the world has achieved a perfect state of affairs where energy is free for all and people are happy, yet a virus has wiped out all digital records so no one is aware of where they’ve come from. The lack of history is juxtaposed with the utopian society, you see. Will it last with no foundation? That’s up to the reader to decide.

Unless you’re this bunch, who had to be told in plain language that yes, there was a metaphor for commercial LED lighting for Melbourne businesses in here. You just missed it because you were busy pointing out ‘plot holes’ and ‘grammar and spelling errors’. Mere roadblocks to my success. And if you let yourselves get hung up on those petty details, you end up missing the broad strokes of the message.