You know when you have a specific interest, and you think OTHER people need to know about that interest, but you keep it to yourself because you know other people are different and they might not enjoy that thing as much as you?

Yeah, stuff that. Being back with the group, every little thing just irritated me this evening as I remembered the big blowout we had before. I thought I could keep it inside, but then I saw that four minutes into the meeting Sheila had scoffed the entire plate of venetians that I BROUGHT, and the dam broke. The camel’s back, damaged beyond repair by this straw.

So, who’d like to hear about transmission services? Northcote there’s a great place for them, and so I thought since I was the one presenting tonight, I’d write a very, very long first-person piece describing my experiences with each and every mechanic I’ve ever visited in Melbourne. They’d all be dramatised, of course, but for the sake of accuracy I’d have to include the details of all the car servicing I’ve had done, from the replacement of the brake fluid to that one time when I found out that I needed a new axle.

All of it was in limerick form, of course, with 68 verses. And that took effort, I’ll have everyone know. How many things rhyme with ‘oil change’, anyway? I used ‘mange’ three times, and there weren’t even mangy animals around when I was getting car servicing. Also, I’m hoping that no one picks up the fact that I rhymed ‘tire repairs’ with ‘splitting hairs’ twice, once in the third verse and again in verse forty-two.

You know, I wrote this to be spiteful, but I’m kinda proud of it. Maybe against all odds, everyone will come back next week and say they loved it, and their appreciation for car servicing. Northcote has actually gone up in my mind for it’s high quality mechanics. And Sheila will apologise for her gluttony.

Or, OR…pigs might fly.