Harriet is the worst, you don’t even know how bad she is. First, she definitely cheated in our chemistry exam even though she said she didn’t, but I saw the formulas written on her arm! I saw them, Harriet! And I didn’t tell Mrs G even though when I took in my trigonometry notes and hid them in my pencil-case you told Mr Lyle and I got an instant fail. Don’t even TRY to tell me it wasn’t you, Harriet, because you were the only one I told.

I don’t snitch because I’m a nice person. But if I had a magic lamp or whatever, my first wish would be for Harriet to fail at life.

Oh, but haven’t you heard, her Dad owns almost every stainless steel marine welding company in Melbourne! Obviously. This has never come up, and your Mum still makes you smiley-meat sandwiches, but also, your Dad is a rich tycoon who can get you whatever boat you like. Sounds legit, Harriet!

The only reason I mention this is because Leslie was saying that her Dad was dragging her and her brother out fishing, and Harriet was all like “fishing is fun, I go all the time!” Someone else (I think Imogen) said “Harriet, you don’t even know what a fishing rod holder looks like,” and anyone who makes the mistake of implying that Harriet is NOT a super encyclopedic genius who knows all the things is just prodding the sleeping dragon. Harriet says all matter-of-fact that her dad owns the companies that make boats. That’s interesting, Harriet, because I’m pretty sure you said at one point that he owns all the companies that make cars, and that’s a lot of stuff to own, you know? He must spend a lot of time signing off on marine welding and fishing rod holders, but ALSO doing outboard engines repairs and oil changes. Busy guy, right?

Also, don’t forget the time in prep when Harriet said that her dad was best business friends with a billionaire from Romania, so she’s obviously been a liar since day one.