A book entirely from the point of view of an insect? This is such an original idea; I doubt anyone has ever thought of it before, in any media. Oh, I don’t mean an anthropomorphic insect that acts exactly like a human except for sight gags; that’s cheating. No, I want to write a book from the perspective of an ACTUAL insect. One with an insect brain, doing its own thing, from birth to death. ‘Revolutionary’ it will say on the book cover.

Of course, everyone here was just full of ‘constructive’ criticisms.

“I don’t think a bug’s stream of thought is appropriate for a novel!”

“How do you even know how bugs think??”

“I have an uncle who’s got connections with a termite control company around Dandenong and I think you’re misrepresenting the profession…”

“Seriously Sheila, ALL of the cinnamon toast??”

So wise, all of you. Don’t mind me; I’m just busy joining the ranks of the misunderstood creators throughout history. No doubt my books will sell thousands and millions of copies after I die, meaning that I’ll never live to see my genius appreciated.

And no, I am not misrepresenting any termite control profession. For one thing, my main character is a woodlouse. Totally different. For another, while I’m using pest control to drive the main plot, it’s far more intricate than that. It’s actually an exploration of the transient nature of an insect’s life, as they have such short lifespans. It would be difficult to represent a person’s entire life in one book, but you can do that with an insect, and show that they accept that their life is short. Even when faced with pest control. Dandenong is not going to suffer a massive drop in pest control requests, I can promise that. I know exactly what I’m doing, even if no one has ever done this before.