They say the first bite is with the eye. And when you’re writing an expose on the evils of open flames, every single bite is with the eye! Hence, the existence of the book. The book, with its words, which must be consumed with the eye, unless it’s an audiobook. I’m still wondering if I want to go that route with my personal publication. As it is, I’m still just trying to get this off the ground, and the folks who are supposedly supposed to be helping me proofread (supposedly) are NOT helping.

Apparently my book gives off an ‘extremist’ vibe. Oh, it’s so terribly extreme to promote Melbourne made LED designer lighting. Have you seen the types of specialised lamps and lights people are creating? Obviously none of the people here were cultured enough to go and visit the lighting expo, but it was like a festival celebrating everything I so dearly loved about the modern lighting trend. Why bother with flame, I say? Oh, you may say it’s rustic having an open log fire. Candles are ‘romantic’. Such foolish fools. Is your home burning down ‘rustic’? Is it ‘romantic’ when you lean in to kiss your date and your sleeve catches fire, or one of the rose petals you’ve so carelessly scattered drifts too close to the flame and causes a chain reaction that causes your tender time together to turn into a flaming inferno that consumes the table, destroying the veal casserole you spent so much time cooking, annihilating what might have been a wonderful time to propose marriage, ruining a relationship years in the making?? Or…you could just have a lovely lamp, with a shade that provides soft and ample light to the proceedings. Your choice.

And really, chopping wood is just a drag. Clearing out the fire is a drag. Trying to read by the light of a dying fire? Well, that’s just a poor choice for your eyesight. The days of flame are dead: embrace the trend of commercial designer LED lighting. Melbourne shall be the first to truly move into the new society, but I’m hoping this book will expedite the process. If some people can put aside their prejudices and jump on board, that is.