I’ve had a long and illustrious career in various trades, and all my many experiences have fuelled the writing I bring to this group.

Oh, so many memories…like the time I fixed that really leaky tap. Or that one day, when Vaughn forgot his toolbox, and we had to drive all the way back to get it. And that absolute classic when Kev’s wife phoned him while he was painting on some scaffolding, and she asked (on speakerphone) if he was climbing things when he’d promised not to do that anymore since the broken leg, and he told her he wasn’t. What a day that was!

Drain replacement, though…that remains my eternal will-o’-the-wisp, always just out of my grasp. I always wanted to try working for a boundary trap replacement company. Melbourne has plenty of people I could apprentice with, but I just never arrived at the right time, or I didn’t quite have the skills. I’ve composed a whole short story about it as well, and everyone here may groan, but they don’t understand my struggle.

It’s about a young apprentice named Giles, with big dreams to work for a drain replacement company. He applies for one apprenticeship after another, but he never arrives at the right time, or he doesn’t quite have the skills. At the end of the story…he doesn’t become a drain replacement professional. He takes a job with a powder coating firm, then looks up at the sky, thinking about drains. It’s very emotional and I cry every single time.  

No one else cried, and I just…can’t understand. A group of creatives, supposedly, and they’re not moved by a young man’s struggle over striving for a place within a jet cleaning company. Melbourne used to be arty, man. They seriously seemed more concerned over Sheila scoffing all the caramel tartlets.